I am deeply deeply in love with him
I have been married to my husband for 12 years and always had a happy marriage. I would thank him for our wonderful life, thank him for our relationship being solid, no trust issues, no fighting over money or our kids. He works out of town a lot and has hobbies that take hours and I trusted him so much that I never doubted where he was or why he carried his phone everywhere with him. I have been blissfully ignorant to his affair which apparently has been going on with his ex girlfriend since the first day we met, he has been having sex with her every few months. We have a 5 yr old and I am currently 8 months pregnant and I just found that he has had a continuous 12 year affair. I confronted him and he seems remorseful that he took us for granted and doesn’t want to lose his family and has already messaged the girl that he was done. He deleted social media and he says he’s willing to do everything he has no excuse for the affair other than he was stupid and it was just habit. The last time being a month ago. With our 2 kids I feel that I need to try for their sake. Am I stupid for believing his remorse and regret and wanting to give him another chance. I see it that I had been so happy these past 12 years and never knew a thing which makes me believe that our love was real because I had no doubts about it. I’ve never been a cheater but I know that it can be so easy. What do I do? I want to give him the opportunity to be better for my kids and me, to at least know that I tried for my kids sake because he is a wonderful father, but im feeling every emotion right now and with the hormones I also just wann jump his bones and say I love you. My trust is gone but in my heart I feel like I have forgiven him for the sex but not the betrayal. He has already deleted social media and phone numbers, and let me search his phone, and any of my requests and seems supportive in my anger and mistrust and knows that he messed up, its gonna be a long process and doesn’t expect me to make it easy but he wants nothing more than to be given the chance to win me back and raise our kids. What do I do, what are my next steps, can people really change, can we survive this, will he be able to change. How do I also keep myself from going crazy wanting to check everything and know where he is every minute of everyday. Please help.
I get angry at him that he has two women that love him so so much
I’ve been the betrayed and the other woman. It’s not as black and white as I thought to be. And I promise you, I am most certainly not a whore, not a home wrecker. I wanted to talk about this side of the triangle as it’s often left out or misconstrued. Please don’t think for 1 second I am saying infidelity is ok. It’s not. It’s just not so stereotypical always. We were both married when it started. I was on the way out and he not. He just wanted a physical need met. I hadn’t been wanted or touched in years. I was so lonely even though I was married. I look back now and see he was grooming me before I even realised. I always thought he was the happiest married man so very loyal. He was so charming. Anyway it started.. https://kissbrides.com/pt-pt/chispa-revisao/. it’s been 2.5 years. One close dday Where I told him no contact, go fix his marriage. I can’t be in his life. He lasted a few days. I’ve tried to end it many times. Tried to Encourage him To be with his wife and work on the marriage. Even given advice! I’ve pulled back. I’ve tried different angles but he always comes back. He won’t leave her and he won’t leave me. I’d do anything for him. It hurts. I have never asked him to leave and never would. I’ve felt for his wife so many times.. thought about her. I’ve cried for her, cried for me. I do t need anything from him as I’m very secure and independent and in a high position and wealth. He invests himself into my children and cares about us all. He spends so much time.. and I encourage and give him almost push him to spend that time at home with his family, but at the end of the day these are his choices too. I do t want o break up there home. I do everything I can to protect that unit. I am selling myself short… so so much. I’d give anything to be with him but not at the loss of all else. We fall in love too… we care too… we get manipulated and lied to as well. We get pulled back in. Yes I could shut my phone down but he would just turn up at my door again. Have you ever ignored the knock on the door of the person you love so deeply? It’s not so easy. I don’t recognise myself.. therapy doesn’t help. I’m slowly building my strength to end it again… I just wanted to say it’s not easy for any party. Well. The ones who care.
