I was via a culture in which it isn’t socially appropriate to say ‘Yes’ the 1st time a person asks if you want food otherwise any type of they truly are giving. Thus, I became stating ‘No’ following I found myself sleeping starving because I wasn’t talking right up. Since nobody would offer myself food once again. Exactly as very first because, I learned that I want to share and talk right up from the my personal demands, desires and you can whichever it’s.
Higher freedom was also reveal on the appeal countries’ gender norms. They were experienced by many participants as often a lot more liberal opposed to those within the Kosovo, in which it sensed a force of area locate hitched and you may possess people, just like the Vjosa told me:
They need feminine become experienced for the Kosovo, and they push all of them, you understand, ‘Go end up college!’ But once they become college or university, they truly are instance: ‘Ok, now you have so you can marry’. It’s particularly he has which trajectory in a position in their eyes, and have to abide by it.
For others, like Vjosa, the experience of enjoying a complete variety of ‘untraditional’ family models in the us, anywhere between homosexual partners and you will single partners to unmarried mothers otherwise partners as opposed to people, is very influential: ‘Women simply have to do what they want to-do
That it stood compared with the fresh skills that your participants had within their destination regions, where feminine was indeed reduced confronted with stereotyped part habits on the more areas of life. It was knowledgeable differently by the professionals. To have Nora, including easy something since activities was in fact ‘eye-opening’: ‘I recall, up to We visited the us, I didn’t know that there could exists a ladies baseball people. (…) I did not be aware that too many evlilik iГ§in tek Д°talyan kadД±n sporting events might be played from the female organizations plus men teams’.
She as well as explained how ladies in Sweden was freer about their love existence
They may not really get married at all and it is perhaps not one huge a deal or marry and get zero children’. It altered brand new participants’ perspectives to the family unit members lives, just like the Ardita and Vjsoa respectively described they:
We achieved a lot of count on once the i during the Kosovo are increased (. ) into the idea that you prefer one into your life. (…) The netherlands starred an enormous character into the creating that it advice that I’m able to end up being another woman. I really don’t you would like a person inside my lives.
I never thought of people [women] opting for to not have a family otherwise choosing to getting having some one to possess 30 years and not marry! (…) As i ran indeed there, I watched that you know, there can be life rather than a child, there can be existence rather than relationships. And you will create with only a partner, (…) versus relationship or relationships and no kids. Most of these different options altered my personal direction.
Rozafa, for-instance, said how amazed she is that women and guys was sharing rentals inside her scholar dorm into the Sweden. Based on their own, this will was in fact out of the question for the Kosovo, where not just renting however, done structures was split ranging from feminine and you will guys. These were not evaluated if, such as, they often changed partners or enjoyed lifestyle. For the Kosovo, she told you, such as for example conduct perform usually end up in hearsay. Jehona experienced it as follows:
My personal servers cousin was very able to carry out almost any. Even more separate. Such as for example here, such as, girls you to definitely years aren’t very permitted to stay aside late. Particularly (…) my mommy is actually a little old-fashioned in this regard. You are sure that, such as for example going out or sleepovers etc. Or such having a beneficial boyfriend at this age is most unacceptable to have Kosovo. And then I found myself, such as for instance, 36 months or couple of years over the age of my personal servers sibling and you will she currently had a boyfriend.
