Who here likes to http://datingranking.net/lesbian-hookup-apps/ be left on read? Anyone? Nope, didn’t think so. Unanswered messages-whether it’s a text convo with your crush, a group chat that none of your friends responds to, or a hopeful conversation starter on Tinder-are just one more way living in this digital age can make you feel all-caps crappy.
But unlike those first two examples, when it comes to dating-app conversation starters and Tinder openers, there’s some art involved-and it’s incredibly important.
Of course, first impressions are critical in any context, but especially when there’s a potential relationship on the line, says Jess Carbino, PhD, a former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble. That’s because humans have a natural desire to “thin slice”-as in, digest small amounts of information (like, what’s in your bio) to determine bigger decisions (read: whether this person is worth a date. or more).
And how you perceive someone in the first 30 seconds or three minutes of interaction is as lasting an impression as how you’d feel about them after three whole hours with them, Carbino says. Which basically means that that opening message is kinda make-it-or-break-it (sorry, I don’t make the rules).
“How you perceive someone in the first 30 seconds or three minutes of interaction is as lasting an impression as how you’d feel after three whole hours with them.”
