Within our tradition, many of us are about “playing it cool you could try this out.” Staying aloof. Being “safe” rather than risking looking “silly”, vulnerable, or god forbid, genuine. Rather, we pretend to not care so much. We operate want it’s “no big deal” whenever actually, it really is. We state, “Eh, just what can you do?” to downplay or brush down frustration or hurt, to imagine we’re over it and fundamentally, dismiss it.
Individuals additionally downplay emotions when it comes to people they worry about. We don’t want to risk rejection, feeling embarrassed, or spot ourselves “too out in the open.” Therefore alternatively, we retreat into the shelter of façade. Hiding behind walls of guardedness and pretending.
Exactly why is this an important loss relationally? For most reasons. Certain, it is safer. Fundamentally however, it is means of half loving and also, of half-living.
Let’s explore in much more depth why individuals usually do not usually state what’s certainly within their hearts one to the other.
— Fear. Concern with rejection, concern with embarrassment, concern with vulnerability and opening yourself up, all of these can feel terrifying. Continue reading