A new dating theory that claims to share the formula for a successful relationship has gone viral – but experts have issued a warning about the advice, stating it could have the opposite effect.
Anna Kristina, a self-titled “mindset coach”, has amassed millions of views with her recent explanation of the “black cat and golden retriever” theory.
It’s based around the notion that “women are never happy in their relationships and marriages if they end up chasing their man”, so in order for a romance to last, the man and the woman need to have very different characteristics.
‘Black cat and golden retriever’ theory explained
The key to mastering this dynamic, Kristina reckons, is that women should behave like black cats, who are apparently “mysterious”, “aloof” and a “femme fatal”.
While Kristina didn’t coin the theory, which first began being discussed on TikTok in , she’s behind the recent rise in its popularity having shared numerous videos on the topic.
“The best dynamic in a relationship if you want it to last is the one where she’s the mysterious femme fatal black cat and he’s the loyal golden retriever,” she explained in one viral video which has been over 6.5 million times.
“It’s the woman who needs to maintain the mystery, the independence, she serves herself first because the black cat comes and goes as she pleases.
“This pleases the golden retriever because he sits on the edge of his seat still being intrigued by the black cat, always being interested and entertained because he feels like he never has a hold of her.”
She went on to claim that when reversed, and the man is the black cat, he “gets bored” and has “no sexual attraction”.
It could spark the end of your relationship
If you’re reading that and thinking this sounds familiar, you’re not wrong. Chantelle Otten, Bumble’s resident sexologist, told the “theory isn’t new” and could actually be damaging to your relationship.
“While using these kinds of comparisons can be a fun way to talk about relationships, it’s pretty important to take a step back and think about these tropes more deeply,” the Melbourne sexual health expert said. Continue reading
