PROMO: The Arthritis Foundation’s Live Yes Connect Groups are empowering support groups that bring people together for informative events and engaging activities. Peer run and volunteer led, they offer a place of understanding and encouragement and cover all kinds of topics. Find a group that matches your interests at
Rebecca Gillett: Some days, though, no matter what anybody’s intention is, you might just not be in the mood. And when you’re in a lot of pain, you might not wanna be touched, and that can be misconstrued as: I don’t care about you. How do you give advice to people who ask about: How do I say no without hurting their ego?
Iris Zink, NP: The person with whatever the chronic disease is, or the type of arthritis is, needs to understand what their disease is. And their partner needs to understand what the disease is. I think it’s gonna be much easier for me to accept that my partner isn’t feeling well if I understand what it is that makes them not feel well. Because many people with arthritis, you can’t see what the problem is. It may not be obvious. Maybe it’s somebody’s hands; well, what’s that got to do with the rest of their body?
What if it’s the fatigue? I can’t see fatigue. What does fatigue mean? So, take a little nap. I think before you can help your partner understand, you’ve got to be able to say whenever, “No, I really don’t want to.” I mean that’s legitimate for somebody to say, no matter what. But I think in order to say it and feel that you are sparing feelings, or that what you really wanna communicate is: “I still love you, I’m not rejecting you, it’s just my body is not gonna let me do this tonight.”
