When the person you are in the talking stage with is also talking to other people besides yourself, or just lacks the reciprocated care that you are giving, it becomes easy to fall into the same routine of interaction, perpetrating the issue of wide-cast but gamified and calculatingly reserved dating
Everyone wants to feel like they belong. We are social animals, and in Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs,” social connection is only superseded by the physical and safety needs required to stay alive. Beyond the basics of living, our first need for a fulfilling life is belonging.
It is clear why this ethos has prevailed in modern dating
Years ago, I remember pining after the idyllic concept of a relationship. To me, romance was the epitome of belonging – to be chosen above all others. One, in theory, can have unlimited friends, but in traditional monogamous romance, only one partner.
The pursuit of that ideal, however, is not easy. Modern communication makes connection convenient and abundant, but with so many options, the culture around dating is shrouded in ambiguity. I see modern dating as gamified and mechanized, a scene that I think hurts those seeking genuine connection.
Dating is hard but often emotionally fruitful. Researchers from Wake Forest University and Florida State University found that married people often experience better physical and mental health. They found that this also extends to early adulthood, with supportive relationships associated with better mental health.
However, relationships nowadays are hard to find, and modern dating culture only amplifies these issues. For instance, an article from Glamour conhecer mulheres tailandesas online grГЎtis touches on the modern progression of relationships: “‘The talking stage’ is a label apparently coined by Gen Z’ers to describe a maddening, un-defined early stage of many relationships,” it describes. Continue reading
